Friday, March 12, 2010

I'm going blank...

I was trying to think of a title for this post but my brain is so fried right now, I can't even do that! I was going to put "I think she hates me"... but I that's a little too harsh.
We've had a really hard day today... actually it's been a pretty rough week. I know babies can't really "hate" their mom.. that's why I chose not to title the post that.. but it can sure feel like she prefers other people sometimes.
Avery is going through a phase right now where she has to be held constantly! Luckily, she seems to do fine at night (knock on wood) and will sleep in her crib for good stretches of time... during the day, it's a different story. I can't do anything... literally! I am either sitting as still as I can to keep her happy, rocking in the rocking chair, bouncing on my yoga ball with her on my shoulder, walking outside (although she hates being put in her stroller, so I have to carry her), or walking laps around my house... all of these seem to be the best tricks at keeping her happy. If I stop or try to put her down I brace for ear piercing screams that will go on for hours.
Today, it was 12 hours straight of screaming. I hate to admit it, but I broke down in tears, too. I cried most of the day. I can't stand that I am her mom but I can't soothe her. Aren't babies supposed to want their "mommy"??!! I know she is trying to tell me something but I can't figure out what it is. Why is it that everyone else can make her stop crying, but me?! I guess it's a pride thing, or maybe that I am stubborn, but I hate to admit that I need help with her sometimes. I should be able to handle a 10lb little person... They can't be that scary, right??....
Luckily I have a husband that loves to hold her, because today, the minute he walked in the door, I handed her to him and went for a walk. I needed a breather. Not only were my ears ringing, but at that point I had a migraine and my eyes were swollen from the tears.
I got back from cooling off for about 5 minutes and Jeff had her calmed down and was rocking her to sleep. Ugh! Of course, it was the sweetest thing I've seen, but it was also the most frustrating thing, too. Why couldn't I do that, today?
I really dont mean to complain... Avery is really a wonderful baby and today is really the first "bad" day that we've had. But that doesnt mean that it isnt stressful. I keep getting told that it will pass and not last long. I hope so! She is so sweet and cute when she isn't screaming. lol I can't wait for her to be more interactive so that it will be easier to calm her.
Anyways... Jeff has her now. Feeding her and getting her ready for bed. Maybe she's just a daddy's girl already. If so, that's wonderful! I am grateful every second for those two!
Now, hopefully we have a good night. I have a baby shower in the morning for Stori to get some beauty rest for :)
Are you ready to have posts like this, Stori?? :)


Melissa D. said...

Hang in there, Avery's Mom. I PROMISE, first-hand knowledge, you are not the first mommy, to cry, or to want some help. I was so on tilt when Connor was born, I hardly left the house at all the first six weeks, and when I did I definitely did not look like an educated competent person with a home and indoor plumbing. I know you are going a great job, and it gets easier.

Anonymous said...

I knew a daddy's girl once,,,, they ain't so bad,,,,,

There's a reason mom's are considered the most important people. There will be tough days, more of them than the easy ones. Day's like today will help you appreciate your own mom even more. And when that little girl grows up, and has her own baby, she will then know how much you loved her,,,, She doesn't know any better now, just looking for love and comfort. So hang in there and love her, and know that we've all been there with you. Anyone who doesn't understand has never had a child.

Proverbs: 28. Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her:

Stori said...

NO! I am not ready for post like these. Poor babies. I can come over anytime from now on to help out if you need a breather during the day after Monday.


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